Here is a fabulous article I came across, which sums up why the r word is hurtful and should not be used. Remember the importance of people first language. No one is their disability or should be labeled as such. Instead say a boy with ‘____.’ Fill in the blank or change the name, but people are so much more than any diagnosis. We are all complex individuals who are so much more than anyone word. The best word to describe anyone is their name or at the very least their gender or a complete general, like person.
Also the r word can be hurtful when used in ways that do not apply to an actual person but just as an adjective to describe something negatively. Don’t make a diagnosis part of a punch line because real people are out there fighting the internal and external battles that go with that punch line. Using such words is just part of adult bullying and really we as individuals should rise to a place above such meanness.
Try reading this well written article about a man who has been fighting the battle of ending the ‘r’ word.